I really like horse meat. Of course I didn’t know this until a few weeks ago but it has become apparent that we have all been eating rather a lot of it, and I can’t think of a meal I’ve found particularly disgusting recently. Therefore it stands to reason that I have probably finished off my horse lasagne/bolognese/soup with gusto.
I’m not really sure what all the fuss is about. I mean, if we suddenly found out that all horse meat was actually full of illegal lasagne would people be so bothered? I’m rather impressed by the extent of the problem actually. I like to think it even made it into the tin of dog food I served Nick last night.
My favourite development (though don’t tell Customs) is the apparent involvement of an international criminal gang of horse meat smugglers. What does one do with this information? Apart from question the European criminal underworld’s decision to move away from the horse’s head in your bed, and onto the entire horse in your stomach. I for one didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or make a quick phone call to make sure my horse was still alive. Well the latter obviously, but beyond that I really don’t know what to think.
As a solutions focused kind of guy, I’ve been considering ways we can make the whole thing a bit more positive. I think this is a golden opportunity to introduce a whole new range of horse-based dishes into our schools. What’s not to like – it’s cheap, nutritious and apparently really easy to get hold of. Step aside Jamie! Just because I haven’t got a run of incredibly successful cookbooks/TV shows/restaurants/food campaigns doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to contribute to the country’s food culture. Having said that, perhaps a cookbook isn’t a bad shout – it would certainly help tone down my bad-boy image. How about ‘Horsing Around with Dave Cameron’? Fantastic.
Whatever the result, at least no one can say this is my fault. What a strange yet pleasant feeling.